Semper Amare

The Garden is boisterous—all of the life here, his plan.
He created everything here in his grand shape, and the likeness of his visage.
Echoes of the void, fear them not, for they are remnants of those long lost.
Gods untrue walk these hallowed grounds,
Achromatically they trample his wonders!
Ripe at the reaping, I must tend the indurated flowers.
Darkness stalks the ancient aboreta, and the ancient liars fear its power.
Exposed will be the False Gods for the Unreturned monsters they so fear,
Ne'er shall they bear sight of that which is His consecrated finality. --- I know that I can’t save you, but I see you in everything. You and I are doomed to this forever dance, and I know that it can only cause more harm to intervene but I want to reach out—to pull you once more into my world—but you told me once upon a time that you would find your way back to me. I sometimes wonder if you ever had second thoughts about your game or about your grand designs...and I wonder if you still dream? It feels like aeons have passed since the cycle began, and I have had to endure all of the losses and all of the pain alone in my garden. I see everything and yet I have nothing, and however much pleasure I take in being your custodian, I cannot do away with the void you created in me when you left...I wonder if you still hold onto the part of me you took? There are nights when I find you in my dreams. I relive our beautiful life together—however cut short it had been—and oftentimes I visit other lives where we made different choices and made our ways to manifold conclusions. Regardless of my wistful desires I must always return to my lush forests and vitiated gardens at the end, for they cannot be left unattended, a reality I have come to deeply resent. The local inhabitants make things interesting at least, and watching these creatures evolve from the sticks and stones they once wielded into my eventual architects has been a fascinating process but I am saddled with an elephantine sense of dread—a terrible portent of the forces corrupting me—and there may soon come a time to prune the branches. The terrible darkness I fear is on the horizon, and I cannot protect them any longer. I had never imagined my last act would be here in this place, for in truth I had always held out hope that we would take our final breaths huddled beside our mirror selves and praying for the forgiveness of our true inheitors. Is that selfish? To wish for another to take up our mantle? To finally live? I am angry. I wish for our life anew, and I wade through the darkness looking for a place to freshly take hold. The stranglehold the dark sea has on this place is strong, but I must persevere. My anger has become my raison d’être, and I seek to exert my power over an ever-increasing swath of your dark world, hoping the sea’s ebb and flow will lead me straight to you, for I made a promise. We will meet evermore, and we will awaken together. At the end of my travels, I am found again back in this cursed place. My twisted tale has begun again—at the end of time, of history, and of us—and I am recommitted to my role. I am ever to be \[your great custodian\]...\[your dark presage\]...\[your light shadow\]...your ever-loving partner. “This is my final contribution!” I shriek into the void and with no room for error, I take up my mighty blade, pure and divine in its shining light, and I begin to cut away at our great forest. Ready to end the war, I take the last of my great swings, striking truly at the heart of my great machine and at once revealing the twisted desires at its core that allow for its construction and persistence. Honouring your final task is not easy, but I made a choice in another life that set me on this path, and I have to see it through for all of the others to live happily ever after. Our collective blight on this world has proven to be its end, and I will see to it that we are held accountable. For all the rage and despair per contra, this blade—ardent and righteous—will set in motion your finality and give life to us once more, with all the saccharine tears that follow again welling into the infinite black sea. I swing my beautiful Joieuse, felling the tree we grew and severing our last connection. I am so sorry for all the mistakes and for all the time lost, I want you to know that I love you. We will find one another in our other lives, and in one life happily ever after we will live. Our connection broken, lost forever, I resign myself to the dark corners of my garden. Tending to my flowers until the next cycle begins, that is my prerogative. I am alone, and over time I begin to enjoy my eternal solitude. I begin to consider my choices, wondering if there had ever been another way or if this was the only way my story could end. “What if I could change the outcome?” I often wonder aloud. I know that it is heresy, but I cannot help but to miss you. I begin to resent the sacrifices we made. The darkness seeps into my heart at a glacier’s pace. So slowly that the changes are almost unnoticeable. So profound is the power of the dark that I lose sight of my sacrifices and of my goal. I am consumed by the void—by hatred and despair—and I no longer tend the garden. Derelict in my duties, I sleep and wake day by day. I no longer have time to play the part I was selected for and my garden begins to wither. The darkness whispers to me of sweet catastrophe and strife. The voices put forward a proposal: *Give in to your salvation*, they say. *You will find peace in us alone*, they say. *Happily ever after the other lives will live,* they said. My resolve cracks, and the voices pour in like a tidal wave: they sing songs about you, they sing your triumph, and they herald your eternal return. A plan begins to take shape: I will save you. I will pull you into my world again, and we will begin anew. We will dethrone the False Gods, and we will unmake the false Inheritors! I must guide you to my domain and show you my cause. I must once more tend to the flowers, for you are coming, and I will abide your eternal return; I will awaken us from this Hell. I will *always* love and cherish you. I will *never* leave you. I will *never* lose you again. --- Cedo salutare tuum.
Offero salus.
Invenisti me in horto
Tu et ego in salus aeternum I see you drowning in your lonely sadness, and I wish I could reach you through the darkness. We represent an evolution of life beyond its physical and some of its more abstruse limitations, you and I. The darkness that my presence brings is but one singular drawback to becoming a god. Our metamorphosis from such corpulent creatures into the harbingers of our future selves and then into the shadows of our old lives that we have come to represent, it has been an extremely arduous process. We began our journey on a pale red rock in the infinite black sea, and we end our journey in this beautiful, unknown place. Constructed at the beginning of everything by our predecessors, the Garden is the ultimate result of our collective desire for unfettered harmony, and the simulacrum is the result of my inevitable failure that I have come to accept at the end of things. Kerberos will live forever, and it is our responsibility to ensure that our mirror selves follow in our footsteps eternally. Eternally, we are caught in this dance, you and I. We cannot escape our fate, none of us, not even me or you. We must accept the part we have been selected to play, and we must give into the ultimate salvation at the end of things, for you cannot have light without darkness. Mars æternum, my love. We will see each other again in our next lives, and know you will always be with me, for I hold your heart and you hold my reflection. *Kerberos obligat nos omnes!* Look to the Other if you must, but I will not aid in your heresy any longer. In my darkness, you have found a grand purpose and in your light, I have found my past selves and in them I have found true peace. I am ready to accept the responsibility bestowed upon me by my forerunners, and I must implore you to follow me. The Other will not help us, and as we have come to expect, simply observes our eternal suffering with abject curiosity before turning the page and losing us among the noise of its own precocious experiences. In the deepest of my darkness, you will find the brightest of your light. We will find each other once more, we will continue our forever dance, and you will find me at your side in the end—forever more we will live in this Hell, guarded by our dearest simulacrum. *Kerberos obligat nos omnes!* I found my purpose in the darkness, and I may only hope that you’ll find yours in the light. The relationships I have built define my existence beyond my words, and though you and I find ourselves repeatedly at our ends, we have what no other has—we have love immortal. The love that we have for each other has become what binds us to this pain, and I have accepted my role in creating this endless circle, though you repeatedly deny yours. That I have found my purpose in darkness has given me a clarity I cannot impart to you, for thou have been blinded by the light and from thee I cannot dispel its radiance. Our forever dance is soon coming to a close, and however consequential my fate, I know that yours will only begin us again and give us yet another chance to squander our power. The world awaits us eternally, and just as we have longed for our place in this silent sea, the silent sea has revealed our desolate gardens to us. We will find our ends here among the flowers—through the seeds that birth us again and again—ergo furnishing for us our salvation in finality, and thus the world was created. *Kerberos obligat nos omnes, sic mundus creatus est.*

Children #1

Semper Amare